


The Case

by JustBeStill



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-01-19 22:09:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12419253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustBeStill/pseuds/JustBeStill
Summary: Sam and Dean take on an unusual case...





	1. Chapter 1

Dean and Sam sat in their Men Of Letters bunker, searching the internet for possible cases. Suddenly, they were startled by the phone ringing loudly, causing Sam to jump a million feet in the air. Dean saw this and laughed until he cried.

Shooting Dean a murderous glance, Sam cleared his throat and answered the phone. "Hello?" At first there was silence. Then heavy breathing was heard. Finally a voice spoke, "Is this Sam Winchester?" Sam was surprised, "Yes, this is him. How do you know my name?"

The voice spoke again, saying, "I have hair growing out of my nose. I think you should come over and check it out. It might be a case for you."

Sam stammered, "Um, no it's not. That's probably just a nose hair. Who is this?"

"Oh, my name is Brittany. And how do you know it's a nose hair? I could be turning into a werewolf, or some other type of extremely hairy creature."

Sam looked over at Dean and did the universal sign for 'cuckoo' before addressing the caller again.

"Anyway, you have a good day. Bye." He started to hang up the phone when the caller yelled out, "OH MY GOD MY BROTHER JUST TURNED PURPLE!" Sam gave the phone to Dean and returned to surfing the web for cases.

"Now he's puking up pieces of bubblegum!" He heard Brittany shout. As Dean argued with Brittany over whether or not her brother turning blue was life-threatening and case-worthy, he dropped the phone.

Sam looked over at his brother, worried. "Dean, what is it?"

"Brittany's brother just vanished. I'd say we have ourselves a case. Their only a few miles away from here."

Sam and Dean got in the Impala and drove to the house. They walked up to the front door and knocked. When no one answered, they kicked the door down and rushed inside, Sam getting a splinter in his hand. As his brother lay on the ground whining and dying over a tiny piece of wood, Dean scoped out the upstairs of the house.

Finding nothing interesting, he continued to the basement. Carpet lined the stairs, and Dean tripped on the first step, almost killing himself. Cursing and threatening to murder the inanimate staircase, Dean heard music coming from one of the rooms in the basement.

The door to the room was slightly ajar, and Dean cracked it open a little more. Peeking into the room, he saw a girl sitting on a bed, reading a book. He walked in and started sprinkling salt on the carpet. The girl looked up and saw him. She screamed joyfully. "Oh my god you actually came!" She ran over to Dean and hugged him. "I'm so happy!"

Dean shoved her away. "Get off of me! Wait, are you listening to Shawn Mendez?" The girl nodded. Dean made a face. "I think I'm gonna throw up," he mumbled. He turned back to the girl, who was staring at him lustfully, giving him the 'I want you' eyes. Dean was creeped out.

He cleared his throat. "So, I assume you must be Brittany? Nice name." He looked around. "Is this your room? It's a little too girly for my taste, and it smells like armpit." Brittany glanced at him, clearly insulted. Dean shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "My room is way better."

He walked out into the family room, searching for signs of a struggle and stuff. He found none. He walked into the room next to Brittany's, noting the turtle in the corner and the other awesome stuff that was in there. "That's my brother's room." Brittany said, watching Dean closely. "Your hair looks so floofy. I just wanna take a nap in it."

Dean took a few steps back from Brittany. He heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and Sam appeared a moment later. "So I couldn't find anything. It's as if there never even was anything strange happening. Everything looks normal."

Sam looked over at Brittany, who was staring back at him, her eyes big. "OH MY GOSH YOU'RE SAM WINCHESTER! I LOVE YOU!" She ran over and hugged him the way she had done to Dean, squeezing him as hard as she could.

Sam awkwardly returned the hug and gently detached from her. "Um, nice to meet you, too." He looked over to Dean for help, but Dean just shrugged and looked away. "So, you said Zach just disappeared in front of you? You must have been kind of freaked out, huh?" Brittany nodded, "Yes, I was. Who wouldn't be? I thought I was dreaming or something, but nope! It was all real." She laughed nervously, "Anyway, if you'll follow me, I'll show you the rest of the house." They continued outside to the backyard, and stopped at a shed. Brittany opened it to reveal Zach standing inside. The two hunters were confused. "Wait a minute. I thought you said Zach was missing." Dean said suspiciously.

Brittany smiled, her eyes turning black. She was a demon. "Looks like I've found him." She said, shoving the two brothers into the shed. Zach ran out, and pressed a button next to the door, causing metal bars to slam down, trapping Sam and Dean inside the makeshift jail.

"What are you doing? What's going on?" Dean demanded. Zach laughed, eyes also flashing black. "You poor, stupid creature. Haven't you figured it out yet? This was a trick. No one went missing or vanished. We needed to get you here so we could capture you."

Dean scoffed, "I'm guessing Lucifer, right? He wants to have a little chat with us, maybe sit down together and have a little tea party and braid each other's hair? Sounds awesome, but we are gonna have to decline this generous invitation." He said sarcastically.

Zach laughed, "You're hilarious. I like you. No, unfortunately this has nothing to do with our Creator. We just wanted to have a little fun. How about we get started. Sound good to you? We're going to enjoy watching you rot away in there. You've killed so many of us, it's only natural that we'd want a little payback, don't you think?"

Sam and Dean attempted to find a way out, but their captors noticed this. "Don't bother trying to escape, or calling your angel friend to save you. This place is warded against them, anyway. It's just us now." Dean sighed and sat down on the ground, "Fantastic. So how do you plan on torturing us?" Zach smiled, "You'll see." Sam and Dean did not like the sound of that.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was hungry. They had been trapped in the cell for almost a week, without food, and minimal drink. He need something, anything, to eat. Sam was in the same boat, chewing on a rock. The two demons, Zach and Brittany, were watching this and laughing.

Dean looked at them hatefully. The demons stared back. Dean tried to reason with them, "Guys, I don't wanna ruin your fun, but we're starving. Please give us something to eat." Zach handed him a frozen pizza and a tomato. Dean started to take a bite of the tomato, when Sam saw that he had food and tackled him, grabbing the food item out of his grasp.

They fought over it for a few minutes, when Dean picked up the frozen pizza and hit Sam in the face with it, stunning him for a moment. Seizing his opportunity, Dean took a big bite of the tomato, angering his brother. "SAM WANT TOMATO!" Sam bellowed, getting back up.

Dean smashed the rest of his tomato into Sam's face, then ran around the shed, waving his arms around and screaming like a crazy person. Their captors were laughing their butts off and rolling on the grass. Dean continued fighting Sam, knocking him out with a punch to his face.

Zach and Brittany got up from the ground and started clapping, congratulating Dean on his success. They gave him another tomato as a reward. "MY tomato." Dean grumbled, eating the whole thing in one bite. Dean grabbed the frozen pizza and continued hitting an unconscious Sam with it. After he was done, he stole his clothes and shoes and ate them, too.

The demons thought that was hilarious. Dean went into the corner to rest and finish eating the clothes he stole. He drowned them In cheese. Sam woke up a few minutes later in his underwear. He was wearing Spongebob tighty-whities.

Dean started picking his nose and eating his boohers cause he was so hungry. The demons were disgusted by this action. Then he went into the corner and pooped out the shoes that he ate, which hurt a lot

Dean looked down at his gigantic turd and commented, "Pup pop doodles fu!" and then Zach giggled and hit Dean with a donut. Dean snatched the donut and shoved it in his mouth, immediately spitting it out in Sam's face, vacuuming his mouth with his tongue, making vacuuming sounds while doing so.

Brittany started giggling like an immature baby, Zach rips his eye out and dips it in cheese, feeding it to Sam. Dean witnessed this and threw up. He took a candy bar out of his pocket and started to eat it. Sam growled, "SAM WANT BOOBERS!" He ran up to Dean and did the Dad. Dean wiggles his eyebrows, dancing like a dumb boob.

Zach and Brittany shared looks of confusion and embarrassment. Josh walked up to them and smashed a tomato in his face. Drake laughed and fed him ma organization.

Cas appeared and did stuff and thangs. This story makes no sense. I'm bored, so imma just play Force Arena now. Maul showed up and killed Brittany. Kylo Ren kissed her corpse, resurrecting Brittany. They went off and married and had lots of fun and pie people.

To this day, you can still hear his cries, "SAM WANT TO BOOP NOSE AND DO THE BEEP BEEP!" He started making car noises and engine sounds and imitating car crashes and explosions.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean woke up the next day, cause they were dreaming in the last chapter. Sam rolled over and smacked Dean in the face with his arm. Dean cried out and jumped up, waking Sam as well. Sam yelled, "What the heck was that for, ya big boob?!"

Dean sighed, "You slapped me across my face with your fat arm! And what did you just call me?!"

"I called you a Big Boob. Because you are one!"

Dean covered his ears, "LA LA LA LA! I'M NOT LISTENING! LA LA LA LA!"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Oh, that's real mature, Dean!"

Dean pointed at his brother, "By the way, if anyone is a boob, it's you! You're the biggest boob I know!"

Sam giggled to himself, "Bobby boob. Hehehe!"

Cas appeared. He looked around, "Dean, what is going on?"

"Sam is being an immature boob at the moment, Cas. Just don't talk to him."

Sam gestured to Cas. "Cas!" He whispered, "Come here! I have to tell you something!"

Sam threw a wad of paper at the angel to try and get his attention. When that didn't work, he threw a book. And then a burger. The burger hit Cas in the face, getting ketchup and mustard all over him. Cas growled and responded, "What is it, Sam?"

Sam giggled, "You're- You're a Boob! HAHAHA!"

Cas looked to Dean for an explanation. He sighed, "I told you to ignore him, Cas."

Sam bawled like a baby and started shaking Cas like a rag doll, "PAY ATTENTION TO MEEE!"

Dean pulled Sam off of the angel, "Get a hold of yourself, man! What's wrong with you?!"

"I dunno, Dean! All I wanna do right now is call everyone I see a big, giant, enormous Boob!"

Sam grabbed a meatball and threw it at Cas. Then he grabbed a slice of super hot Hellenism and threw that at him, too. Then he threw Justin Bieber at him. And then a bikini. And so on. Cas grabbed the bikini and put it on, then left out of frustration. Dean threw up his arms. Sam started throwing things at Dean. He threw a stinky shirt, then some cheese from the fridge, some socks and then a TV remote, which hit Dean on the head, making him fall out of his chair.

"Stop throwing things at me!" Dean yelled.

"SILENCE, YA BIG BOOB!"

Dean sighed, "I'm calling Crowley. Maybe he'll know what to do!"

Crowley appeared. "Hello, boys. You rang?"

Dean jumped ten feet in the air.

Sam giggled, "Hey Crowley, guess what?"

"What is it, Moose?"

Sam snickered, "Come over here and I'll whisper it to you."

Crowley leaned in closer, "What?"

Sam whispered in Crowley's ear, "I like chocolate milk. Also, Dean is a huge mega boob!"

Crowley raised an eyebrow, "Really? I guess I'll have to start calling you two The Boob Squad from now on."

Dean groaned, "You see what you did, Sam? Now Crowley is making up a horrible group name for us."

Sam pointed at Dean and made a face like he was pooping his pants, then backed out of the room slowly.

Dean rolled his eyes. He turned back to Crowley. "Can you fix whatever the hell is wrong with him?"

Crowley sighed thoughtfully, "No, Squirrel. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you're a dork. And I hate dorks."

Suddenly, there was a crash coming from the other room.

"QW!" Two voices said in unison.

Dean raced over there to find Sam on the ground, next to the witch Rowena. Sam clutched his leg. "OWWW!" He reached over to Rowena and booped her nose, "Boop!"

Rowena slapped his hand away. "You Winchester's and your booping problem! I'm sick of it!"

Sam started doing jumping jacks and dancing like a fool, sticking his butt out into the air.

Crowley eyes popped out of his skull. "Moose, WHAT are you doing?!"

"I'm DANCING LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON WHO HAPPENS TO BE MY IDOL!"

Dean sighed, "That is NOT how Michael Jackson dances!"

Sam gave Dean an evil look, then he put on a tutu and danced like a ballerina. "I'm a pretty butterfly!"

He picked up a microphone and started singing in an old person voice, "This is for you, Brittany! Can I borrow some sugar? Sugar is the virtual world! YEEAAHH!" He threw his microphone to the ground, breaking it. Then he moonwalked out of the room.

Dean started crying, "That was my favorite microphone!" He threw himself on the ground kicking and screaming.

Cas came back with a bag full of burgers, still wearing the bikini. "Sam, Dean, I'm back with your…." He stopped talking as he saw the scene that had unfolded before him.

Dean was still bawling, sucking his thumb like a baby. Sam was using a toilet paper roll as a microphone and was singing Beat It. Rowena and Crowley were trying to kill each other again, with Rowena sitting on top of Crowley and trying to literally rip his head off.

Cas set the burgers on the table and slowly backed out of the room and out the door. Dean saw the food. He smiled. "Sweet, food!" He grabbed the bag and began eating the burgers, shoving them into his mouth super fast.

Sam started whining, "DEEEAN! Those were MY burgers!"

Dean chewed with his mouth open, "Blah blah blah!" He said with his mouth full.

Michael Jackson walked into the room, "Hey guys? Can I borrow some sugar?" Sam's eyes bugged out of his head and he pointed at MJ and stuttered, "That's my- That's Michael-" Then he fainted.

Dean grabbed a bag of sugar and a pen, "Sure, MJ, but I need you to autograph the bag of sugar once you're finished with it."

MJ looked at him strangely, "Okayyyy. Well, I will see you-"

Dean stopped him. "Also, here's another pen."

Michael laughed, "Why do I need another pen?"

"So you can autograph the one that you use to sign the bag of sugar, of course."

Dean clapped his hands together and said, "Oh, I almost forgot. I will also need you to autograph,"

He dragged an entire bookcase into the room, "-this bookcase! And also that lamp, and that table, and that coat, and these socks, and-"

4 Hours Later

Dean was still going, "-and also that computer, and the wall, and the ceiling, and-"

Michael held up a hand. "Listen, Dean is it? I know you're a big fan of mine, but I really gotta get going. I have to be murdered by my doctor in less than an hour, and I don't wanna be late. So I will see you guys later, and thanks for letting me borrow some of your sugar." He started walking out the door, but Sam ran at him and hugged him tightly. "No, MJ, Please don't leave! Stay with us!"

MJ patted Sam soothingly. "I'm sorry, buddy, but this is very important to me. Maybe once I'm finished my ghost will come back here and visit you guys occasionally. I do like this setup you have here, after all."

Before he left though, he autographed a banana that was on the counter. Sam snatched it up before Dean could get to it. "MY BANANA!" He yelled.

Dean drew his gun and pointed it at Sam, with the safety on. "Sam, give me the banana."

"No, Dean! I love MJ!"

"I LOVE HIM MORE, SAM!"

"I doubt it." Sam muttered under his breath.

Dean turned off the safety. "What did you say?"

Sam held up his arms in surrender. He held out the autographed banana. "Okay, you can have it."

Dean snatched it from Sam, laughing victoriously. "VICTORY! VICTORY FOR DEEANNN!"

He ran to his room to lock the banana in his safe so no one could steal it from him.

Sam went to his room and bowed before a poster of MJ. "All hail Michael Jackson, King Of Pop! I am your loyal servant!"

Michael walked back into the hallway. "Sam, I forgot my…. keys. WHAT are you doing?"

Sam quickly stood back up and brushed himself off. "N-nothing, Michael! I was just cleaning the floors!"

"With your face?"

Sam's cheeks turned as red as a tomato. "Um, well-"

Suddenly, MJ exploded into sparkles and rainbows.

Sam was shocked. He stood there for a few seconds. "MICHAEL! MJ, come back! I wasn't done worshipping you yet!"

He ran to Dean's room and pounded on the door. "DEAN! Dean, open up!"

Dean opened the door, and Sam pounded his face in because he was still knocking.

"OW OW OW OW!" Said Dean every time Sam accidentally hit him.

Sam smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

Dean rubbed his face. "It's fine, Sam. Now, what's the problem?"

"I was in my room... doing stuff… and then MJ came in and exploded right in front of me! It was horrible!"

"Sam, quit making stuff up. I know you're just trying to distract me so you can steal my banana."

Sam threw up his arms. "I don't care about your banana, Dean! Just come with me, I have to show you something."

They walked to the room where MJ had exploded. There was a puddle of stuff where he had been.

Dean was surprised. "Oh. I see what you mean, Sammy. This might be a problem."


End file.
